That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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