Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Everything about him screamed your future.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
