i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
