you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
