her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
