did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
