I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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