The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
