Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
