On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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