So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
