ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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