Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
