Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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