Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
