I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
