We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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