Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize