you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she told me i tasted like america
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
