Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize