i just google imaged poop.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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