Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
