I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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