He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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