This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
