i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
