pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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