If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
