he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
