I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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