I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
