Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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