i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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