There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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