WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
