Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Still dying that you shit outside
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
