She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
