I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
