You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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