You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize