That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
