I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
