I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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