Kiss
Puke
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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