Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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