People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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