***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
