I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she woke up with a sticky ear
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The struggles of a small town man whore
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
