Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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