my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
