Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
