Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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