Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's never too late to be topless.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can't turn off my feet"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
