So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
