I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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