and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
