i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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