if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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