Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
