Will you blow on my dice?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Pants are for mortals
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
