Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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